S H E L L Y B O R T . C O M
- breviloquently apolaustic composer/performer/musical director in central california -
(this album has not been produced yet, but once finished - i will post the album order below :D for now - the songs are in no particular order, and many more will be added later).

The Years Fall Away

smith:
Deep in the summer when time is suspended,
I can remember when dreams used to reach out to me...
Effortlessly.
When in need...

with Laughter came sunshine, and rain dropped like tears
they Merged into memories and
Coalesced down within me.
Trying to breathe.
Waiting to be.

Soon I was 15, and then I was 20.
30 came calling and then I arrived at today.
Somehow it seems all the things long forgotten
Swell up inside me in seconds, and time starts to slide...
with No room to hide.
Come what may, the years will fall away.

Carefree and simple and easily wounded,
healing in moments and smiling across all the seasons...
so Young and so free
so Young and free.
Loyal and wild with passions like fire,
flooded with pain yet in love with a fervent desire...
Caught in between.
always between....

Open at 15, then jaded by 20, 30 was passing before I even knew what to say.
Leaving behind all the promised "tomorrows,"
watching as time stretched ahead of me feeling no fear.
The loss all too clear...
One step too many saw all of the years fall away...
Onward and upward i'll look as the years fall away.

til i'm back in that summer where time was suspended...
Once again.

Come again...
find me again...

Lullaby: For Our Kids

smith:
over and over i tell you
how much you mean to me.

over and over i'll help you
dare you to be all you dream

and i will always love you
much more than you could know.

over and over i tell you
that i'll ever let you go.

trevor:
mmmm mmmm mmmmm mmm

both:
i'll never let you go.

Lullaby: Goodbye

smith:
over and over i tell you
you want more than i can give.

over and over i want to
but i've found the strength to live.

i cannot continue to love you
it hurts less to let you go

you couldn't enslave me forever -
so trevor my answer's "no."

i'm sorry - 
​i have to go.

Lullaby: Trevor's Reprise

trevor:
why am i so easy to leave?
why am i not even worth half of the fight

trevor 1&2:
that she swore i would inspire
now that we're here?

trevors 1 - 5:
why am i so easy to leave?
why am i always the one left holding on
to promises i thought this time would come true?

trevor:
cause i should know better

trevor 1&2:
i just can't believe i'm here with you

trevors 1-6:
of all people...

(trevors keep adding on each line til all are singing, up to 20 people)
i never thought this would be us!
but here we are
and all that i can do

trevor:
over and over i loved her.
she swept me off my feet

trevor 2:
over and over she shamed you
left you broke amidst her retreats

trevors 3&4:
all the time you wasted
and she never let you through

trevor:
sammy, oh sammy - i love you!
please tell me which way is true...

trevor 2:
you know what you have to do....

I Don't Want A Story

smith:
i don't want a story
i don't need a game
and it's not a secret that i am far too believing
i know it's not fair...

but i see all your beauty
and people always change
i don't want a hero cuz i know glory's deceiving
with no room for air...
though i love you- you have to know i'm scared...

cuz i see the REAL you behind all the lies
you've woven this story to pull over my eyes
and i can't keep pretending that i don't see the flaws
i just want what's inside you- all the Love in your heart!
that's the man i ALMOST see...
that's the only man i'll ever want for me
i DONT want a story...

trevor:
how can i be sorry for showing you my pain?
and opening my soul for you to see the tears and the scarring
you've GOT to believe....

i'm not selling you a story
i'm not playing some sick game
you are not a child, or a toy
my truth IS alarming, but now i can see
what else can i do to gain your trust in me?

sam:
i DO trust you!

trevor:
NO, you don't!

and now i see the REASON you hold back...
why our love is TEARING you apart
you've got us figured out inside your head- but not in your Heart...
you've been hurt so many times before
you don't know what is real anymore
don't you see the love you're giving up?
the world you're afraid of is the one worth fighting for!

(smith: *reading a letter* dear sam,)
trevor: i could be the one who helps you heal
(smith:) you don't know me
trevor: i could be the one that you let through
(smith:) you don't want to believe me
trevor: i could be the one who tells you "whatever comes i still love you!"
(smith:) but trust when i say he's not who he seems
trevor: Oh, i'm ready to begin!
(smith:) and even tho he's ready to begin, you must know you shouldn't let him in
trevor: but you know you have to let me in!
(smith:) if you only knew what he would do if you let him love you...
trevor: if you only knew what i would do if you let me love you!
i would give you everything!
you're the only music i would ever sing...

She Adores

trevor:
some things are different
some things are hearder to ignore
some things last longer
some things just tend to break you more

and here we are - where i thought we never could be
but here we are... it doesn't make any sense to me.

how sometimes it's different
sometimes it's harder to ignore
and i'd be in heaven
if i could be the one she decides she adores...

i've waited so long.
i've waited so long for those words
and i've waited so strong
i've waited years and years and more

and here we are - where i thought we never could be!
but here we are... it doesn't make any sense to me...

how sometimes it's different.
sometimes it's harder to ignore
and i was in heaven
when she admitted i'm the one that she adores.

Sammy

trevor:
(spoken) this is LOVE, sam. i may be young - but i know that much.

(sung)
you may think this is all too fast.
you may think i don't have all the answers i need.

smith:
it's not that - i just know myself...

trevor:
it's not that - you're just scared to let go!
so let go and let me in!
i don't know- what more proof do you need?!

sammy, MY sammy - i love you.
sammy - believe me! i have tried to make sense of this powerful voice
saying i don't have a choice.
there is nothing to do but give in and rejoice!

sammy - MY sammy! i don't know how i do 
but i promise i do - i choose you!
i choose you...

smith:
there's this tree i have always loved
and the roots spread beneath all the streets of the town

trevor:
i have dreamed of this tree you speak of

smith:
all the earth we stand on holds the tree in the ground.

both:
all the years this tree has grown!
every stone it break through - all the life is has known!

trevor:
sammy - my sammy- I LOVE YOU!
oh... sammy!

smith:
you got me - now i know why that tree stands so tall in my heart....

both:
we're the roots, the leaves above -
this is not the first time we have fallen in love!

trevor:
sammy! my sammy!

smith:
i don't know what to do

trevor:
yes you do! say you choose me, too!

smith:
i don't know how i do - 
but somehow i do
love you.

trevor:
i love you, too <3

smith:
(spoken) i'm in trouble... aren't i?

Killing Me

all it took was that word
to know that this was finally over.
all i needed was that final small push
to see you as you are.

i don't know why it took so long
cuz there were signs even on the night we met.
and since that moment - everyone's been telling me
to open up my eyes....
i guess i had to do it in my own time.

i should have listened.
i should have listened to them all.
instead i convinced myself - they don't know you like i do.

i should have listened....
instead i wasted 5 whole years - pushing them all away
convinced it would make you stay

convinced you were what i wanted
and convinced that it wasn't killing me.

all it took was a look - cliche i know -
but i was yours from that very first smile
i felt the pressure in my heart.
i remember thinking - "this is just the start.
there's my missing part..."

blinded by the ties that bind
of course i believed you when you said you were broken...
not knowing all your "truths" were lies -
i gave into you... cause i was broken, too....

i should have listened, i should have listened to myself
the first time i had doubts.
i shouldn't have waited, when i knew it would get worse.
i pushed so hard to stay- that i drove everyone away

convinced it was what i wanted
convinced that it wasn't killing me...

all it took was some time.
i knew we'd bend or break, eventually.
but break was all that i prayed for.
it hurt too much to stay - i couldn't wait to get away!

i see now it now for what it was.
only 2 days out - but still - clarity!
i take responsibility.
i did it all to me.
i did this all to me....

i should have listened! i should have listened to my friends
they tried to help me see.
i should have moved out. i should have moved on long ago
but now's my time to flee
when my eyes can clearly see

convinced i am worth too much.
convinced it was YOU -
who was killing me.....

and now -
​i'm free.

Under Your Thumb

get it into your head - i can't grow you out of my bones.
i long to be, i yearn to feel outside of you...

get it into you head- i can't blow you out of my lungs.
i need to be, i have to breathe once on my own...

but you've got me right where you need me.
and you keep me where i can't do anything but please you.

i can't tease you when you're in control
you see right through me, cut me two ways, split my pea...

get it into your head - the girl you once loved died so long ago.
when we broke - she broke. heart turned to smoke, blew away.

and you've got me right where you need me.
you've forgotten i exist! you laugh, you smile, you hum...
oh please God strike me dumb
so that i can stay right here under your thumb....

The Way You Love Me

sometimes i feel so old, beaten down by the world 
it's hard to catch my breath or find strength to go on
but once in awhile, i feel the cool breath of youth
and it fills my lungs and picks me back up again

but i still get down- life's been hard and its STILL hard
and i cant figure out what i want most to know
but something has changed. made a difference...
and now the weight on my chest has released

it's the way you love me!
cause it's SO much more than what i thought i would have
than what i thought i could accept
but something in you speaks to something in me...

i was SO tired from a life spent as the underdog
you inspired me to rise above what i've been told i am, 
what people say i'm worth
the good i hold will finally be seen!

through the way you LOVE me!
cause it's SO much more than what i thought i would get
or what i thought i deserved 
but something in you speaks to something in me-
it's just the way you love me!

i'm addicted... i am addicted... i am addicted...
to the way you loved me...
❤

Come To Me

when there's tears, when you're drained
when you're sure no one else remains - 
come to me.
come to me...

when youre old, when they've forgotten
when we've stopped being relevent - 
come to me :)
come to me <3

and you'll never be old, and i will never forget!
i'll be as excited as the day we met
to see you again for the millionth time
still reeling from gratefulness 
that you're actually mine to keep...

my love...
come to me <3

like when trees grow toward the sun -
you've grown towards me since you were young!
you come to me...
you come to me...

no matter where life may take us
i swear i'll never let it break us
just come to me!
come to me...

and you'll never be old
i will never forget
just like i've welcomed you home every time you have left
and though we grow up, and some may move on
i will never let go of what i know we could someday become -

my love...
come to me <3

you.

if you - if you are not meant for me- i KNOW-
somehow we will be ok.ay.
give it time, give it space
a Love like ours can never be erased.

i want to figure this out
but you- you need to step back now.
take your time, take your space
i PROMISE distance will not shake my faith...

for i Love you enough to let us go for now...
i Love you enough to let us go...

if you are not meant for me today- i KNOW
tomorrow we'll be okay.
love like ours comes along
to save us when we're sure that we will drown.

and i'll be your life line when your heart
can't get out of bed again
i'll be strong for us BOTH.
like you were strong for me so long ago.

for i Love you enough to fight us through this storm
i Love you enough to keep you warm...

if you are not meant for me next week-
i'll wait.
and find words when you can't speak.
take your time, take your space
i'll wait to see that smile upon your face.

and if the sun disappears- i'll DANCE
and shine for you ALL my years...

for i LOVE you enough to stay for 90 YEARS!
i Love you enough to take on ALL your fears...
i Love you enough to NEVER let you go...
i Love you enough.
that's all i know.

Seasons

the sky's on fire like the first time
the morning afters come undefined.
i can't wait to make sense of the
way things fall apart.

like our broken promises -
we died from the inside.
just like a tree whose roots have grown
too big to fit into the same ground.

i keep waiting for the snow to revive me;
fill my body, inspire hope.
i keep looking back to the past to remind me -
but it seems so far away...

i can't believe this is over.
i can't believe this is true.
i can't believe winter didn't pause for us
to fight our way through...

i can't believe that it's green now.
the sun somehow shines too...
i can't believe so much time has passed
that the seasons have changed
since the last time i held you...

Dangerous

smith:
i can remember when this was so effortless
you made me feel as though no one else had ever listened
you are so dangerous for me...

you cloud my judgement, you get inside my head
i don't even know what i want
don't even know what i'm saying...
you are so dangerous for me...

trevor:
well do i get a say?
i've known forever - i can't live without your love!
please, just stay.
you're the one who's dangerous...

deep in the summer when time was suspended
i still remember every word you sang to me...
you were so dangerous.....

i was carefree and simple and easily wounded

smith:
no, perversion comes quickly to you
your deception's SO fluid...
you are SO dangerous.

both:
you didn't love me like you swore you would
something you did broke us more than i knew something could...

trevor:
you won't believe me

smith:
you're not to be trusted!

both:
you can't take back all

smith:
the lies!

trevor:
all the scars!

both:
all my tears
the loss - all too clear.

trevor:
one dream too many saw all of the years fall away.

smith:
no - one lie too many saw the life we built -
fall away....

trevor:
you are so dangerous

smith:
you are still dangerous

both:
for me...

Tick Tock

you don't know him
you don't know him
you don't know him 
you don't know him

tick tock goes the clock
why is trevor always up so late?
you don't know him
you don't know him

tick tock goes the clock
why is trevor still online at
1? 2? 3? 4? 5? 6? 7? 8?
you don't know him...

he says he's not mysterious -
big mistake...
you don't know him
you don't know him

he says that it's not curious
am i curious? or insane...

tick tock goes the clock
why is trevor always up SO late?
you don't know him
you don't know him

you don't know him
you don't know him
you don't know him
​you don't know him.