life is FULL of really, REALLY beautiful moments.
love, friendship, travel, kids, pets, nature, love, love, love..... :D
it's also full of heartbreak. balance, right?
right. that's what makes the beautiful moments so incredibly beautiful...
SO. how do we survive? how do we not get bogged down in the horribleness life tends to deliver straight to our doorstep every now and then?
here is what helps me...
1. i cry
never block your emotions. if you want to cry - excuse yourself to the bathroom or outside - and friggin' cry. if you want to punch a wall - excuse yourself to the bathroom or outside - and friggin' punch a wall ;D both really help me, honestly. sometimes nothing feels better than punching a door and cutting up your hand. but more times than that - a quick cry can really let it all out. the only time i really cry is when i feel i'm misunderstood and blamed and i don't think i deserve it .... that's the only thing that really draws the tears out. but sometimes PMS can be overwhelming, or just life... and the tears need to come.
several years ago i would have taken myself to bed for 3 days and sobbed the entire time... now - it's a good 10 seconds, and i'm okay. i'm much more in control of myself and my emotions the past few years, so i don't need all that time. but sometimes, when you're still growing up - things are TOTALLY confusing - and you DO need 3 days of crying and being pissed to sort out what's happening. since i know myself better now, nothing really rattles me that much. but when i feel overwhelmed, i sometimes let myself cry for a few seconds to just get it out. everyone knows crying is good for you, but a good scream has the same effect. its letting those chemicals out that will fix you fast - SO LET THEM OUT!
2. i walk my route
when i was in jr. high, i started taking long walks every day to calm myself down. i got really bullied all throughout school, and sometimes i would go home and my parents would be in a mood and start yelling, and i just couldn't handle more negativity. so i would take off on a walk. and i'd walk the same route every time. it just so happened to be by the house of the boy i liked ;D (hi josh) something about walking that same route today helps me. it helps me remember how unhappy i was as a kid and everything i didn't know and everything that's happened to me since - and i start to realize that back then i had no clue that my best days were still ahead of me - and they were - and that they STILL are!!! and before i know it - i'm calm, happy, inspired - and walking up my driveway :D
3. giada in italy
do you know who giada delaurentis is? she's a chef. and she's adorable. she has the biggest mouth i've ever seen in my life. and 5,000 bright white teeth to fill it. and she filmed a show in positano, italy - and i have all the episodes saved on my dvr. and when i am feeling really down in the dumps - i turn on giada and watch her gorgeous smile and manicures make all my dream food in my dream place - and i feel a WHOLE lot better. and then i go make a gorgeous salad or some homemade pizza - and i feel like i can conquer the world again.
4. i make/do stuff for other people.
i don't have a lot of time to volunteer as much as i used to. so, now my "giving back" is mostly making stuff for pen pals or my niece, or doing the dishes or the laundry or the grocery shopping, etc. i focus on ANYTHING other than myself that creates something good for someone else. doesn't matter what it is - as long as it doesn't create personal gain for me. and within that - i am reminded that my problem/s is very small in the scope of the world, and i am capable of SO much more than what my brain is currently focusing on and what i'm currently feeling - and it somehow all just dissipates.
5. i go outside and meditate on the good times.
i have several memories that i meditate on. my first kiss, my time in london, some of the memories my songs are about, a special day in monterey, being a kid and going to MBA, kisses, crushes, my niece, inside jokes, special moments in nature, sunsets, etc. i sit in the sun, i close my eyes, and i try to recreate the feeling i had in those memories... the EXACT feeling. i try to feel the air, fingertips, the sun... i try to remember exact words and phrases... i try to see the memories from different angles and remember things i've forgotten... it's incredibly therapeutic, and before i realize it - it's been an hour and i can't even remember the thing i came outside to forget. and i feel alive, and present, and filled with happiness, love, purpose, and inspiration. meditation is SO powerful. if you don't do it - i REALLY encourage you to start.
other more obvious things like cuddling my dogs, exercising, writing music, etc. are also part of my routine, but those are just 5 things that i feel are MINE. like, everyone cuddles their dog when they're unhappy, but only i have my personal memories... only i know my jr. high walking route, only i have a crush on giada's teeth... ha ha :D that way - i feel like i'm focusing on mySELF and BETTERING myself. which is really important to me. i don't like to just mindlessly wander the earth... it's important to me that my actions matter and better myself and those around me. so if giada inspires me to go make a salad and floss - hey. so be it :D
how do YOU make yourself feel better when you're upset? <3