 i take a mean picture :)i mean... come ON. could she be anymore precious snuggled in the tree john and i planted when we were like, 7 and 10? amazing <3 today was my lindsay date. i missed her. im so happy for all her success and everyone embracing her and all the work she's about to do... but most of all, im proud of the character she has maintained. she's such a GOOD. PERSON.i love my lindsay. we've known each other for so long, its hard to remember a time when i DIDN'T know of this little young talented being off somewhere in my peripheral vision...we did Seussical The Musical together when she was like, 10 or 11 or something. and throughout the years, we always kept our eye on each other, albeit from afar. i dont remember when we connected as "Adults" (she being an adult now...) but we did. and boy did we EVER connect. lindsay is a kindred spirit. and so i invited her to do the 3rd cycle of "just wait and see..." and she played one of the leads. she stole my heart. and she went from a kindred spirit to a soul mate.now lindsay is one of the people in my life i love the most. and i am SO happy she is in my life in a BIG way. she is going to go on to do great things, and i can't wait to be here cheering for her every step of the way <3Lindsay recently placed as a finalist on the Oxygen reality show The Glee Project, and will be guest starring in 2 upcoming episodes of Glee, season 3.lindsay on facebook
SO! I just spent an hour and a half retelling every single detail of the audition process, perfectly crafting the emotional journey i went on this summer, and giving all my new friends and partnerships shout outs and encouragements.
and then safari crashed and erased it ALL.
i will take that as hint number 50,0022lsd that i need to stop with every single little thought and emotion i have, and just hit the highlights.
so here's the highlights.
may- was asked to participate in Valley's Got Talent talent show
june- rehearsed for "joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat" and auditioned at Valley's Got Talent callbacks with my original song "the way you love me".
july- performed "joseph" and started press for Valley's Got Talent
august- decided to change my song from "the way you love me" to "give me love", rehearsed like a FIEND.
this last week-
tuesday sound check: had ZERO voice. but had MAJOR fun. got to hug lindsay & aaron <3
thursday dress rehearsal: realized how many AMAZING performers were in the show- aka-every last one of them...
friday first show: thought i did pretty good, watched the video back, wanted to kill a panda bear, knew from the second she opened her mouth that frankie would win.
saturday last performance: changed it up, did MUCH better, and soaked up every second of happiness. frankie won the grand prize, and justin won our category!
today: my pic appeared on the front page of the paper... no clue why they chose me when frankie won. lol!
WHAT. A. JOURNEY.
here are some pictures of last night <3 thank you to EVERYONE in the show for being amazing and so supportive and kind... and for the judges for making us all feel like a jillion and a half bucks. some of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me or about me, were said last night. it filled my heart, boosted my confidence, and humbled me in a way i've never been humbled before.
once we all met thursday night, none of it felt like a contest... it felt more like a gorgeous display case of mutual admiration ;) i can't WAIT to hang out with all the new friends i made, and work on all the new projects we've dreamed up together.
i am so excited and hopeful for what the future holds, im not sure i'll ever sleep again <3
this isn't the first time you're hearing the name marilyn in this blog,
and it certainly won't be the last.
my new bestie (who, incidentally- after the tea partay -bug is OBSESSED with...)
ended up being my 365 picture today again, by no fault of her own ;)
her sisters tried to steal the show though, and they definitely stole the picture.
we were going to do a "lolita" shoot, with dirty feet, and her licking a popsicle stick.
well, the more i thought about it, the more the popsicle stick just became unseemly,
(even though we were simply going to reenact this moment out of the most recent Lolita movie...)
and i honestly didn't feel like setting up a bunch of props...
so we decided to meet at the park,
and i brought taffy instead of popsicles, and a blanket. it was a GOOD THING i brought the blanket,
because someone was OBVIOUSLY murdered on this bench last night...
vomit.
at any rate, after properly dirtifying up her feet, we snapped the first set of pictures. (*click photos to enlarge) i think they're prettier than the actual movie still.
then, her sisters wanted some taffy too. obviously i gave them as much as they wanted
(they're not MY kids...) and then i had them jump in the photos.
they turned out amazing :)
what freakin' characters... good peeps :)
 I like the idea
of having it
in your hands …
you can’t hold an MP3.
I understand the
portability of that,
but this is about
putting in a [record]
and dropping a needle and sitting down and looking at the cover.
That’s the romance of music
we’re losing in this generation..
 Here I am
a bundle of
past recollections
and future dreams, knotted up in
a reasonably attractive bundle of flesh.
I remember what this flesh had gone through; I dream of what
it may go through.
I record here
the actions of optical nerves,
of taste buds,
of sensory perception.
And, I think: I am but one more drop in the great sea of matter, defined, with the ability to realize my existence
 What I want
is to be needed.
What I need
is to be indispensable
to somebody.
Who I need
is somebody that will eat up
all my free time, my ego,
my attention.
Somebody addicted to me.
A mutual addiction...
 I want a soulmate
who can sit me down,
shut me up,
tell me ten things
I DON'T already know,
and make me laugh.
I don’t care
what you look like,
just turn me on.
And if you can do that,
I will follow you on
bloody stumps
through the snow.
I will nibble your mukluks
with my own teeth.
I will do your windows.
I will care about your feelings.
Just have something in there...
 I ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISHED THIS ONE MINUTE BEFORE MIDNIGHT. this is the Today's Picture Story for 8/18/2011. DANGIT. ONE MINUTE. its literally 11:5- there. now its midnight. midnighty.... great job, brain.
i have this absolutely amazing friend.
her name happens to be kellie.
which happens to rhyme with shelly.
since the dawn of 12 years old, we have been emotionally inseparable. and though we lost touch for awhile when we went off to college, we reunited when we were 27, and haven't mentally been apart a second since then.
i think we started calling each other "twin" because we are exactly the same. apart from the fact that she's a gorgeous brazilian model, we are identical in almost every single way. and we always have been. so much in fact, when we were talking yesterday (after not seeing each other for 3 long years) she super vaguely referred to an old boyfriend and i just blurted something random out about it, and she looked at me like i'd kicked a puppy. "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!" she screamed. and i was like "i dont know. i just know you." and she had literally never told ANYONE what i had, not guessed, but simply stated as fact.
we KNOW each other.
we just always have... from the NIGHT we met, we didn't want to be apart.
so, in tribute of the day and night we were blessed with yesterday, (and because she keeps texting me pictures she is finding right now of us in high school...) i thought i'd do a little walk down memory lane with a good old Then and Now. our looks may have changed, but as you can see, we love each other exactly the same :) and that is something that will NEVER go away.
Kellie & Shelly: Twins Then, and Now Then. (1992) and Now. (2011)
Then. (with our good friend- Stevie Nicks?!) and Now.
Then. and Now. Then. and Now.
see?! not that much has changed ;)
to what, you ask? 
click
the
pic
and
see :)
 1. Ever cheated on someone? If so, how many times: yes :( on 2 ex boyfriends. repeatedly. it was a lifetime ago and they were both kind of awful though, so.. ya know.
2. How old were you when you lost your virginity? i dont know what that means.
3. Are you “in love” with somebody?
very much so.
4. MISSING QUESTION
5. Have you ever done anything sexual on your parents bed?
i dont know what that means.
6. Ever been “the other person” in an affair? yeah. it ALL feels horrible. i haven't done it in years and i will NEVER do it again. its just a horrible thing to do to someone. and you will pay dearly down the road. the person you finally settle down with will definitely leave you. everything evens out. dont shoot yourself in the foot.
7. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
:)
9. Ever had a one night stand?
i don't know what that means.
10. Ever gotten drunk and couldn’t remember the night?
holy COW survey. gheez. and i don't know what that means.
11. Ever been sexually harassed and/or assaulted?
haven't we all? look at the world we're living in.
12. Ever had a crush on your neighbor?
hahaha. no. all the neighbors i ever would have liked- have always liked boys as well ;)
13. Ever snuck out of the house?
more times than i could possibly count.
14. How many illegal drugs have you tried?
i don't know what that means.
15. Do you do any drug regularly?
absolutely not.
16. If you’re underage, do you still drink and/or smoke cigarettes?
no. im overage. and i don't know what that means.
17. MISSING QUESTION (although im sure it was awful)
18. Ever attempted suicide?
yes.
19. Ever been to therapy? What for?
yes. someone did something very awful to me and caused me to lose the most important person in my life. my brain shut down and i needed help getting it working again.
20. Have you ever been so upset that you stopped eating?
yes.
21. Are you clinically depressed? Are you taking anything for it?
no. and i was taking bupropion, but i'm not anymore :)
23. How old were you when you first got kissed?
a kid, the first one that mattered- 13, and the first one that actually got me somewhere with someone- 19.
24. Is there any “friend” of yours that you secretly hate but talk to anyway?:
nope. i don't do that. if i don't like you, you're not in my life in any way, shape, or form. oh, except for my sister.
so... yes.
25. Ever been in a relationship and wanted to end it, but stuck with it for some reason?
of course. you always hope for the best with the people you fall in love with.
26. Ever sent naked pictures to someone?
i don't know what that means.
27. What about sent them to someone you met over the internet?
HS:DKJ:KLSDJF:KLSJDKFJSKJJ I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. oh god.
28. Ever been abused?
yes. very much so.
29. Did you ever run away? How long were you gone for and what happened?
no. i stayed and fought. i kicked them out of my life. they disappeared, but the psychological damage was already done. it destroyed me, my partner, our relationship, and my life.
30. Do you ever lie to yourself about things so much that you believe it?
absolutely not. i can't preach 24/7 about self awareness if i don't engage in it myself. im a big believer in dealing with reality.
31. Have you ever liked someone when you were dating someone else?
oh yes. it's called being young. it's also called being human.
32. Ever dated a friend’s ex?
under no circumstances. i have never, and will never be- that kind of "friend".
33. Ever done something with your friend’s significant other?
no.
34. Did anyone ever confide in you about being gay/lesbian?
most people in my entire life.
36. Do you know of someone who has committed a horrible crime but never gotten caught?
yes. internet predator: sarah jean williamson.
37. Ever stole a large sum of money?
no way.
38. Ever purposely thrown up?
no. i can't make myself throw up. it has to happen naturally. ohhhhhhh and it does :/
39. Ever had an eating disorder? What happened?
nope. im fat.
40. Have you or anyone you know had an abortion?
not me, but yes.
41. Were you or any of your siblings in an accident?
not together. i believe we've both been in car accidents though. and i've had my fair share of strange accidents.
42. Ever found porn on your parents’ computer?
OMG. VOMIT. and NO. first of all- i don't go on my parents computers. second of all- i don't know what that means.
43. Do you look at porn?
i don't know what that means.
44. How many people have seen you naked in person?
um, i'm in theatre. it goes with the territory. well, kind of.
45. What about through pictures?
i don't know what that means.
46. Ever had cyber/phone sex?
i have no clue what this means. i don't even recognize those words.
47. Ever got a piercing behind your parents’ back?
oh yeah. i used to pierce my ears every summer in high school. we went to private school and couldn't have piercings, so we'd all do it in the summer and JUST when they'd heal and we could wear other earrings, we'd all have to take them out :)
48. Ever sold or bought an illegal substance?
i don't know what that means.
49. What’s your #1 biggest fear?
having people lie to me, and take emotional advantage of me. i am 100% honest in all matters of the heart, and in every facet of my life. and for some reason, people really, REALLY love to mess with that.
50. Have you ever faced that fear? What happened?
yes. in my interpretation of what i saw happening in my screwed up state, i ended up hurting someone unspeakably so. and pushed the only person i've ever really loved so far away, they stopped believing in me, gave up on our knee weakening love, and disappeared from my life all together. don't ever mess with someone like we were messed with. the damage you cause is beyond comprehension.
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