my bday is in a few days :)
in like, a week and a half actually.
i had big plans for this year, but like every year- the closer it gets- the faster i lose interest in it.

i always get really sad around my birthday. i kind of mope around thinking "another year gone..."
but this year, despite its challenges, really was a banner year. 
and i'm approaching this year thinking "another year gained..." 
the trick is- you can't have one without the other.

i've become a non-celebrater of my birthday. i think the accomplishment i feel from just physically and emotionally LIVING through yet another year is reward enough. i don't need a partay to make me feel good about myself, and i don't need a reason to celebrate all that i am. i do that every morning and every night. not in a horrible "i'm so amazing" way, but just in a "sure. life is hard. but look at all that's happened..." kind of way.

although if i DID have a partay- this is what i would want it to look like <3

i'm too worn out from this year to create any of this magicness for myself. so if anyone wants to volunteer ;)

in all honesty, all i really want for my birthday is an open ended plane ticket and 3 grand for hotels & spending money.
so if anyone has cash to burn and is feeling generous...