i repeat 2 things to myself all day long, daily.
"it's never too late to have a happy childhood." that keeps me loose, and helps me not take life too seriously, and it helps me make day to day life special, and squeeze the most fun out of everything.
and "if you want to be happy- BE." that speaks DIRECTLY to my heart and my ego. it helps me let go of EVERYTHING. because anything that holds me back is hindering my happiness. and i have absolutely no time for that. i don't want to waste time feeling bad about something i did that in hindsight i see was very wrong. so i swallow my pride, take responsibility and apologize. guess what happens then? my relationship with the person is strengthened, and we move on. i don't have time to waste regretting, and being melancholy, and thinking about what might have been IF ONLY.... "if only" is very. VERY. dangerous. and i just don't let myself go there anymore. i WANT to be happy. so i am. that's it. there's no hidden subtext there, there's no great secret, and i'm 100% honest with you when i say- i am TRULY happy. there are things i'm working on, but at my CORE- i am 100% happy. 

i just posted this as a note on facebook (hadn't written a note in a WHILE, whoo!) but i thought i'd put it here too.
this is just some advice through wisdom i've accrued over the years, through many break ups, and from being on both sides of many break ups. i've been the break upper and i've been the break uppie. both suck. trust me. being the break uppie sucks a LOT more. once i break up with someone, i just move on. i never find it hard. we break up with people for a reason. but here's the thing, and i've been this person too: sometimes we don't WANT to break up. sometimes we break up with someone as a means to an end. as a way to fix things and get back together. but then everything explodes and it becomes something you never thought it would be. i've been there too. 

this note is to the people who have broken up with someone, and found themselves regretting it.
look. there is no gain in stubbornness. if you WANT to be with someone, swallow your pride and go be with them.
the world in general has zero time or respect for people who make themselves miserable out of having something to prove. you're only hurting yourself in the long run. because the people you cut out WILL move on without you. and they'll be fine. it's a lesson we all need to learn. i've learned it. you need to learn it too. don't assume you're so special that people can't live without you. they can. and they will. and THAT is where this note is coming from. 
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 there seems to be a similar trend happening with everyone on fb right now. maybe its just the seasons changing, maybe its more... but maybe this applies to you too so let me just say this: if YOU broke up with someone- YOU CAN'T BE MAD OR SAD WHEN THEY MOVE ON!! they wanted you- and you SAID NO! what do you EXPECT them to do?! if you want to be with them, go be with them. if not, shut up with all your melancholy posts. 

its time to grow up everyone. say what you want. mean what you say, and back it up with appropriate action. get over your issues, let your baggage go, start each day and each relationship with a clean slate, and BE. HAPPY. take it from one who knows well. all you can do is pick yourself up, and keep going. be a person of integrity. be a GOOD person. want the best for others, and do the best for yourself. 

every relationship is work, no matter if its friendship or partnership. don't be passive aggressive. don't play games. either be in someone's life, or don't. but don't expect them to wait around for you if you put them through hell. 

figure out what you want. put the work in. be mature. be happy. and be done with it. BOOM.

now everybody dance.

we live in a world of technological a.d.d.
all summer i have been trying to work on my impatience.
patience is my great life lesson. im on this timeline that no one else seems to be on...
i want instant gratification. i want answers now. i want resolution now.
my great lesson in life is to just be, and let others be.

as a way of coping with my impatience, i have come up with some very silly things that truly help me slow down.
i will share them with you.......... now.
ish.

1. ringtones that i love.
obviously, we all pick ringtones that we love to listen to, but for as long as i've had a cell phone, (which is going on, 16 years?!) i've had it on vibrate. i hate the sound of cell phones ringing in public. and i hate the idea of someone being in the middle of telling me something important, and my effing cell phone going off and interrupting them and making them feel like crap. because that has happened to me SO many times.... and then even worse- the person PICKS UP THEIR PHONE AND STARTS TALKING. in the middle of church, or a concert, or you pouring your heart out.... people are ridiculously rude, and they have no idea. im also a frantic texter. meaning, the SECOND my phone buzzes, i snatch it up, speed read it, fire off a reply, and snap my phone shut all in one quick swift motion that would make a cheetah's head explode. why? because they're fast too. SO. in order to slow the eff down, i started buying ringtones that i adore. john mayer, sara bareilles, cee-lo... to name just a few. and when my phone rings i let the ENTIRE song play, and i ENJOY IT. then i go about my business, and when i have a free moment, i read it and reply. it's hard for me. REALLY hard. because i value other people's time and i run the risk of missing something whilst taking my time. but if i miss it, i miss it. and that's ok. i also only used my phone whilst in my room. when i leave the room, my phone stays firmly put on my night stand. there WAS a time when there were no cell phones, no texts, no reaching-someone-every-second-of-the-day... and i've taken myself back to that place. and no one's complained yet.

2. one window at a time.
i am someone who has 15 internet windows open at any given moment. if one is going to take 5 seconds to load, i open another one and go to another website for (seriously) 2 seconds, and then go back to the other one. its ridiculous. i don't do that anymore. i have one window open, at a time. i let one thing require my attention. not 50. i can wait 10 seconds, or God forbid- a MINUTE for something to load. it took a LONG.TIME. for this one to take effect. but now- i don't even get all jittery whilst waiting anymore. see? progress.

3. i keep a schedule.
and i stick to it. being self-employed can get out of hand. you can spend ALL DAY watching movies in bed, checking, re-checking, and triple checking facebook, and updating twitter. "yep. still layin' around." WHO CARES? now i have a schedule so i don't WASTE time (which is what i hate). and running a business online is FRUSTRATING, let me tell you. sometimes the internet is really speedy and you can get everything done in 2 hours and then go play with the dogs. sometimes, it takes you 14 hours to do what you should have accomplished by 10 am. those are the days you breathe deeply, and keep at it. there's lessons in all of it. you just have to take the time. nothing is time wasted while you're being productive.

4. i don't listen to music whilst driving.
not anymore. of course, like everyone, i have 80 million mix cd's i've made that are all scratched up and over used in my car. at the beginning of the summer, i decided that it wasn't a race to the finish line to get somewhere. now i listen to books on cd, or simply roll my windows down and that's the sound i hear when i drive alone. when someone is in the car with me, i talk to them, or we can listen to music together. john john and i recently drove from chicago to nashville without even turning on the radio. we talked (and i slept) the ENTIRE. way. 9 hours. and we were never bored once. music i love makes me drive hastily. and im in no hurry anymore, remember?

5. i go outside every hour.
i am a slave to my computer. i run my personal website, AND an accessories website on this thing. and both things keep me insanely busy. its a full time job, with full time financial benefits. i bust my butt so people will respond. and they do. i ALSO teach lessons and do gigs. i have a very. full. schedule. that takes extreme planning and organization to stay on top of. so i reward myself with a stretch, and a breather EVERY. SINGLE. HOUR. if i am obsessing over something, sometimes the break isn't that restful, and its HARD for me to leave. sometimes im like "AAARRRGHHH!" and i RUN downstairs, go outside, tap my foot, look back at the door.... but i've DISCIPLINED myself and RESOLVED to taking breaks every hour. so even though im tapping my foot, sooner or later, that breeze hits me... i walk around the pool, or the front lawn... i throw the dogs their toy... i step into the water... sooner or later, i forget what was bothering me, go back upstairs, and attack the problem with a totally different frame of mind. i've learned to enjoy the day whilst working.

i hope some of these tips and ideas help YOU to slow down in your life!
it's not a race to the finish line. enjoy the journey. 
the day to day... 
the moments...

i love words. i love sentences. i love a good saying. i love a good FUNNY saying. i love a good self deprecating saying, a good depressing saying, a good motivational saying... anything. everything. i love words. i love it all. i love phrases that i can hold on to for a lifetime.

here are some i've picked up along my way... 
just a few of the hundreds that are hanging on luggage tags behind my bed.
from ME to YOU <3