to see my entire hair transformation, check this out.

today is oct. 31, 2011 but you'll be reading this on nov. 1, 3015.
just kidding. wouldn't that be weird tho?

i've cut my hair again. i've actually cut it twice since the above "check this out" link/blog happened...
i just can't seem to stop cutting my hair. 1: because it never really looks right to me, and 2: because every time i cut it, i feel more and more free, and more like my old self.... but the new version of my old self. does that make sense?
its a GOOD feeling. very very very good. very inspiring. very independent. very healing. and very hopeful...
and hope is good right now. its been in short supply this last year. but here it is in the hair-falling-out-hand-ful :)

here's what i did today.

to be fair, my hair hasn't looked like that since the day i dyed it and cut it like that.
about a week after i dyed it dark brown, it was fading to blonde again. it just REALLY wants to be blonde right now.
which... upon further consideration... is okay with me. i wanted to go dark to be dramatic and different, but i feel i look my best with blonde hair. so im just gonna let it be blonde. so... anyway... from the above style, i cut it up to the bottom of my ears. then i trimmed it even a little bit more... and even a little bit more...

until today; i just went crazy and cut & dyed it into this:

and i gotta say... i know for a FACT im not done cutting it. there's going to be one more dramatic cut.
im really, honestly just going to go full bore and chop it ALL off, rosemary's baby/mia farrow style.

i LOVE having super short hair. i didn't think i would, honestly. i HOPED i would... but i didn't know it would make me feel SO incredibly myself again. with long hair, i felt pretty, but i always felt like i was hiding. plus it was hot, and unmanageable... and i just got SICK of it. chopping all my hair off has been ENTIRELY therapeutic for me... which it always is. but more so this time than ever before. maybe its my age... maybe its what i've been through lately... but i feel like i know EXACTLY who i am. EXACTLY what i want. and EXACTLY what i can offer. i have NOTHING to hide from- and i have NOTHING to hide. and chopping all my hair off really represents just fully opening myself back up and being comfortable with myself.

phew.
i did it.
i found me again :)

im thinkin' about, while my hair is short enough to handle any dying catastrophicsies,
going a different color every week in november.
that is... if i can find an amazingly bright and healthy hair dye system
that only lasts for 5 days at a time...

here are the colors i'm considering, in no particular order.

what do you think? any suggestions that might be more fun?
any dye brand suggestions? :)

ps- which color should my hair be for my birthday at the end of november? immortalized forever in pictures... 
;)

this one to check off my list was going to be a big one.
i hadn't really done anything to my hair (except dye it various shades of blonde and brown and thin it out) for 2 years.
and i went big or go home. 

(i actually started this one back in august before my summer check list finished up... 
but i knew i was going to put it on my fall check list, so i stuck hard to every 3 weeks...)

Chop & Dye: 1

i'm almost out of hair!
whatever will happen 2 weeks from now?!?!
:)

i can't do it.
i can't figure it out.
i think i was a LOT closer to the perfect bohemian hair when my hair was really long,
but now its all gone. i got a step further away with my cool, hip haircut.
then i got even further bleaching it all out blonde again, although i truly, truly LOVE being blonde.

i have thinned my hair out again, and dyed it dark brown, and am deep conditioning it within an inch of its life-
so hopefully, one day, it will heal and the wavy/curly will return and the damage frizz will retreat.
sigh. one can hope. also an interesting fact- this hair-do does NOT look good day 1.
it needs to be slept on for a few days, and a little dirty and oily before it looks good. true story.
it looks best day 3, and if i could STAND it- it'd look the absolute best day 4, but i CAN'T make it that long between washes. i can't stand dirty hair, and day 2 is hard enough. all im thinking all day 2 and 3 is "i smell like a man on a train... i smell like a man on a train..." THANK YOU first boyfriend for THAT little charming neurosis....

so okay. here it is.
my transformation from blonde to dark brunette again.
do please enjoy.