i've dated my fair share of stubbly boys and men. let me tell you- NOT great on the face after a good make out sesh. one of my missions this year is to date a boy with a BEARD. not stubble- a BEARD. not necessarily make out with him, or perhaps touch him in ANY way- just hang out with him enough to get a lot of super great photos of me with a hot bearded guy.
here are some of my yeses and no's in selecting a bearded photo mate.
here are some of my yeses and no's in selecting a bearded photo mate.
YES
to being so super hot with a beard, i can tell you're even superer hotter without one.
NO
to angrily invading my country with your plastic wife and your weird throat beard that doesn't even come close to matching your translucent cone head.
YES
to saving the world with your beard.
NO
to being the sassy no-eyed-bearded- kiddie- diddler from Tool Time.
YES
to being the hottest- bearded- guy- who- just- escaped- from- prison on the beach.
NO
to whomever did this to jessica alba.
YES
to being toby mcguire's hot bearded older brother.
NO
to getting rejected from your lifelong dream of being an extra in "Ravenous II" and then making a home movie with the bodies you've buried in your backyard...
YES
to being the most adorable bearded ginger working at The Genius Bar in your township.
NO
to being voted The Ginger Most Likely To Keep His Mom's Toes In His Freezer.
YES
to mastering the "Bearded Explorer", "Bearded REI Employee of the Month" "Beaded Caring Boyfriend" and "OMG you guys- his beard looks so soft i want to touch it" looks - all in one picture.
NO
to mastering the "Gay Bearded Karate Kid", "Oops I fell down and Rubbed Off the Middle of my Beard" and "OMG you guys! Yesterday was the best day EVER! My mom finally let me get a beard perm- and then I took my braces off early in my basement last night!" looks- all in one picture.
YES
to being bearded john krasinski and making me think about you 24/7.
NO
to being 500 year old brad pitt with beard jewelry fashioned and applied by zz top.
YES
to using your beard to protect you from the sun's harmful rays.
NO
to whatever the *$#@ is happening here...
