here are 10 LITTLE WAYS i chill out <3
1. rocking.
since i don't have a headboard on my bed anymore, i love to sit up really straight against the wall, and just gently rock back and forth, like, half an inch or so. not falling off the bed or anything. it settles my back (which hates me) and it calms my spirit. sometimes i catch myself in public rocking back and forth. thats when i know my subconscious was thinking about something i wasn't aware of and trying to calm itself down ;) creepy!
2. candle.
my favorite smelling candle of all time is "fresh cotton" by mainstays. or ANY of the fresh laundry scents out there. i light one up (a candurrr that is... not a doob...) sit on the floor by my bed with my legs crossed indian style, and stare into the mirror thats on the back of my bedroom door. whilst looking at myself, i take stock of where i've been in my life, what i've done right, and the things i look forward to doing in the future. i also note changes in my face. wrinkles, sags, lines :) being able to physically SEE myself getting older calms me down. i just think of how im getting farther and farther away from that little girl who was picked on and hated herself. i am my own creation now. and i take comfort and pride in overcoming my past.
3. humming.
this is probably the creepiest thing i do to chill out. and i only started doing it this last year. there were times earlier this year, when i would get so upset i literally wouldn't know what to do with myself. and i had to channel that- for lack of a better word: rage- into something else. one of my favorite movies is called "The House of Yes". the whole thing is entirely creepy and quirky, and at one part the main character is coming completely unhinged. she brushes all her hair into her face and leans over the bathroom sink humming loudly and shaking. then it gets softer and softer and softer, and she whips her head back and smoothes her hair down, and smiles. it is SO. MANIC and unsettling and creepy. and guess what? it works. whenever i feel my emotions about to REALLY get the best of me (which hasn't happened in months) i would just close my eyes and quietly hum. one note, one pitch, for as long as i could. take a deep breath, and do it again. very softly. it creates this buzzing in your head and whole body that COMPLETELY mellows you out and makes you feel a little drunk.
4. letters.
if i need to say something to someone but have no right to yell at them about said thing- i write a letter. i have HUNDREDS of unsent letters in a folder called "documents" on my computer. its a nasty, nasty folder. i write these SCATHING letters to people about how their behavior has hurt me, and i stick them in that folder. sometimes i go back for DAYS and edit them, taking out certain lines and re-writing them making them meaner and more bitey. i edit and re-write the letters until i reach the point where i'm actually apologizing to THEM for my angry behavior, and then i just let it go. even if, because of circumstance, you can't talk TO a person about how they've upset and hurt you, you CAN work it out on your own in a mature and constructive way.
5. meditating.
something i started doing late last year, was meditating. it took a LOOOOOONG time for the calmness of meditation to kick in. im not kidding. i'd say around 6 months. but i was going through something bad in those 6 months, and i was grasping at straws. but i stuck with it- and now it helps IMMEDIATELY and for every single little thing i can think of. i start and end each day by meditating outside. when i wake up, i have to take my dogs outside. while they play, i sit on the pool cover, turn my face up to the sky, and breathe deeply. every morning. and every night. it centers me first thing in the morning, and calms me down at night. its become something i can't live without. when i travel, i go into a bathroom and do it. i turn on the water and sit on the edge of the bathtub, facing a window if possible, and just breathe. i make a concentrated effort to smile, and i list all the reasons my life is awesome in my head, and end it with stretching up as high as i can, and then bending over and putting my palms flat on the floor. then i'm ready for my day.
6. pacing.
i'm a pacer. i really am. it helps me a lot when i'm sorting stuff out in my head. it also helps when i'm upset. when i ran my own company, i used to excuse myself from rehearsals or meetings to go pace in the hallway or outside. if i get stuck on an idea, or i'm having a very intense conversation with someone on the phone, or i'm uncomfortable in anyway, i will start pacing. it's either that or scream. and pacing is the quieter of the two ;)
7. explode.
if i REALLY need to get something out, i am SO blessed to have friends that i can call and scream to. i will just say "do you have 5 minutes? i need to get something out" and then they know that whatever emotion is about to come flooding out of me isn't directed at them. i know for a fact when i do this to my best friend he doesn't even listen. he just goes about his day and let's me unload. then i feel better, he offers me tiny advice if i need or want it, or if not, he then unloads on me, and we're done. it REALLY, REALLY helps to say your problems out loud to someone. i would have absolutely died this last year without good friends to talk stuff out with. it gets you out of your head and helps you focus on reality instead of however your brain is distorting the situation.
8. t.v.
if i don't have a problem that i need to get out, and i'm just in need of some mellow-out time, tv is KEY. i can zone out in front of a television for DAAAAAYS. i don't anymore, but i used to. now i'll watch an hour or two and fall asleep ;) but i LOVE. tv. always have. always will.
9. cuddling.
there is nothing like spooning or being spooned, hugging or being hugged- to chill me right the eff out. feeling like you're protecting someone, or better yet- like someone cares enough to protect you is the greatest gift in my life. i love to feel someone close to me, guarding me. to feel like someones on my side and will protect me from the world. i feel totally out on a limb by myself 99% of the time. so to have someone wrap their arms around me provides a comfort i feel nowhere else at no other time. its invaluable <3
10. blogging.
this is my safe place. where i get to say WHATEVER i want and not have to worry about how it affects other people. because if you don't like it- you don't have to read it! and if you're going to think less of me for something you read here- you're not the kind of friend i want. and if you're going to base your entire opinion of me on what i write here- i don't need that kind of constriction. blogging is just a way for me to blow off steam, and to share, and to be creative. no one thing defines any of us. so i don't worry about being judged here, and i don't censor myself here. it's incredibly freeing to say exactly what you mean and put it out into the world.
how do you unwind?
<3
1. rocking.
since i don't have a headboard on my bed anymore, i love to sit up really straight against the wall, and just gently rock back and forth, like, half an inch or so. not falling off the bed or anything. it settles my back (which hates me) and it calms my spirit. sometimes i catch myself in public rocking back and forth. thats when i know my subconscious was thinking about something i wasn't aware of and trying to calm itself down ;) creepy!
2. candle.
my favorite smelling candle of all time is "fresh cotton" by mainstays. or ANY of the fresh laundry scents out there. i light one up (a candurrr that is... not a doob...) sit on the floor by my bed with my legs crossed indian style, and stare into the mirror thats on the back of my bedroom door. whilst looking at myself, i take stock of where i've been in my life, what i've done right, and the things i look forward to doing in the future. i also note changes in my face. wrinkles, sags, lines :) being able to physically SEE myself getting older calms me down. i just think of how im getting farther and farther away from that little girl who was picked on and hated herself. i am my own creation now. and i take comfort and pride in overcoming my past.
3. humming.
this is probably the creepiest thing i do to chill out. and i only started doing it this last year. there were times earlier this year, when i would get so upset i literally wouldn't know what to do with myself. and i had to channel that- for lack of a better word: rage- into something else. one of my favorite movies is called "The House of Yes". the whole thing is entirely creepy and quirky, and at one part the main character is coming completely unhinged. she brushes all her hair into her face and leans over the bathroom sink humming loudly and shaking. then it gets softer and softer and softer, and she whips her head back and smoothes her hair down, and smiles. it is SO. MANIC and unsettling and creepy. and guess what? it works. whenever i feel my emotions about to REALLY get the best of me (which hasn't happened in months) i would just close my eyes and quietly hum. one note, one pitch, for as long as i could. take a deep breath, and do it again. very softly. it creates this buzzing in your head and whole body that COMPLETELY mellows you out and makes you feel a little drunk.
4. letters.
if i need to say something to someone but have no right to yell at them about said thing- i write a letter. i have HUNDREDS of unsent letters in a folder called "documents" on my computer. its a nasty, nasty folder. i write these SCATHING letters to people about how their behavior has hurt me, and i stick them in that folder. sometimes i go back for DAYS and edit them, taking out certain lines and re-writing them making them meaner and more bitey. i edit and re-write the letters until i reach the point where i'm actually apologizing to THEM for my angry behavior, and then i just let it go. even if, because of circumstance, you can't talk TO a person about how they've upset and hurt you, you CAN work it out on your own in a mature and constructive way.
5. meditating.
something i started doing late last year, was meditating. it took a LOOOOOONG time for the calmness of meditation to kick in. im not kidding. i'd say around 6 months. but i was going through something bad in those 6 months, and i was grasping at straws. but i stuck with it- and now it helps IMMEDIATELY and for every single little thing i can think of. i start and end each day by meditating outside. when i wake up, i have to take my dogs outside. while they play, i sit on the pool cover, turn my face up to the sky, and breathe deeply. every morning. and every night. it centers me first thing in the morning, and calms me down at night. its become something i can't live without. when i travel, i go into a bathroom and do it. i turn on the water and sit on the edge of the bathtub, facing a window if possible, and just breathe. i make a concentrated effort to smile, and i list all the reasons my life is awesome in my head, and end it with stretching up as high as i can, and then bending over and putting my palms flat on the floor. then i'm ready for my day.
6. pacing.
i'm a pacer. i really am. it helps me a lot when i'm sorting stuff out in my head. it also helps when i'm upset. when i ran my own company, i used to excuse myself from rehearsals or meetings to go pace in the hallway or outside. if i get stuck on an idea, or i'm having a very intense conversation with someone on the phone, or i'm uncomfortable in anyway, i will start pacing. it's either that or scream. and pacing is the quieter of the two ;)
7. explode.
if i REALLY need to get something out, i am SO blessed to have friends that i can call and scream to. i will just say "do you have 5 minutes? i need to get something out" and then they know that whatever emotion is about to come flooding out of me isn't directed at them. i know for a fact when i do this to my best friend he doesn't even listen. he just goes about his day and let's me unload. then i feel better, he offers me tiny advice if i need or want it, or if not, he then unloads on me, and we're done. it REALLY, REALLY helps to say your problems out loud to someone. i would have absolutely died this last year without good friends to talk stuff out with. it gets you out of your head and helps you focus on reality instead of however your brain is distorting the situation.
8. t.v.
if i don't have a problem that i need to get out, and i'm just in need of some mellow-out time, tv is KEY. i can zone out in front of a television for DAAAAAYS. i don't anymore, but i used to. now i'll watch an hour or two and fall asleep ;) but i LOVE. tv. always have. always will.
9. cuddling.
there is nothing like spooning or being spooned, hugging or being hugged- to chill me right the eff out. feeling like you're protecting someone, or better yet- like someone cares enough to protect you is the greatest gift in my life. i love to feel someone close to me, guarding me. to feel like someones on my side and will protect me from the world. i feel totally out on a limb by myself 99% of the time. so to have someone wrap their arms around me provides a comfort i feel nowhere else at no other time. its invaluable <3
10. blogging.
this is my safe place. where i get to say WHATEVER i want and not have to worry about how it affects other people. because if you don't like it- you don't have to read it! and if you're going to think less of me for something you read here- you're not the kind of friend i want. and if you're going to base your entire opinion of me on what i write here- i don't need that kind of constriction. blogging is just a way for me to blow off steam, and to share, and to be creative. no one thing defines any of us. so i don't worry about being judged here, and i don't censor myself here. it's incredibly freeing to say exactly what you mean and put it out into the world.
how do you unwind?
<3
